Dell Venue 8 Pro - Issues with Wifi after Updates

So I took advantage of the Microsoft Store's (http://www.microsoftstore.com) 12 Days of Christmas deal for the new 8" Windows 8.1 tablet. Looking forward to the longer battery life (double the Pro) and the form factor. That is, if it works...

The issue? Upon startup, the Windows Updates break Wifi! As soon as you load the initial 10 updates, upon reboot Wifi is dead as a door nail. 

The trick is to UPDATE THE DELL DRIVERS AND FIRMWARE FIRST! Otherwise, you are left with a nice trivet for your pots. With no full-sized USB port, you are kind of pooched unless you do a system reinstall. No bueno, Dell!

This issue is apparently all over the googlewebz. Order of operation is key. I picture all of the Octogenarians that were on line today for the $100 discount that will be amassing, Walking Dead style, at the doors of the Microsoft store with receipts in their trembling hands. 

First impressions are key, guys. A lot of people expect tablets to just WORK (like my mini fleet of iPad Minis). 

I will post a review once I de-poochify this thing. It was going to be a Christmas gift. Walking an in-law through this process would have sucked. I hope this helps others avoid an awkward Christmas morning!